It's Worked So Far, But We're Not Out Yet

Happy New Year! I scared myself by realizing that 2007 marked the end of me-just-being-me, self-centered and self-absorbed and self-serving, and that 2008 means me-and-another-being, forever and ever. I had also made a promise to myself that the new year needed to bring a change in my miscellaneous and sometimes exorbitant spending habits. No more $200 sprees on makeup and hair care products, no more buying whatever the heck I want in general. Better budgeting, buying stuff for baby, blah blah blah. My plan has backfired, however, because what I am doing now is using my petty cash on exorbitant baby spending. Today I ordered bedding and a full nursery furniture set, for example. Must rethink my rules.

Junior is doing well and is looking forward to another ultrasound this Friday. I finally started to feel her move around just a day or two before Christmas. The people who say it feels like ‘butterflies’ or ‘gas’ are just crazy. It feels exactly like bubbles. I notice it the most at night, or when I’m sitting very quietly (like in the car on the way back from Canada), or when I have a full bladder. It’s creepy, and cool, and I can’t wait until I can feel the kicks from the outside or start to identify how she’s positioned. I definitely hold or rub my stomach without thinking about it lately, and the waistline has all but disappeared. I still have the weird double-bump thing going on, but that’s apparently normal. My appetite is pretty normal as far as food selections go (no weird cravings or aversions), but I definitely can’t eat as much as I used to. I’m going to ask the doctor Friday if this is ok (people think I’m crazy when I suggest that it’s because my stomach is already being compressed), especially since I’ve only gained 4 pounds and I’m at the halfway point. Halfway point! That’s so crazy. I’m so excited though, because that means I get to set up the nursery. Not only is it a room project, which I love (despite the fact that I’ll probably get it done and then move 5 seconds later, aka the Home Office Knightdale Project), but it’s a nursery. For a baby girl. Did I mention I get to decorate and set up a nursery? And I'm secretly thrilled that I've only gained 4 lbs.

I got to see lots of high school and college buddies while I was in my hometown for the holidays, which was nice. My friend Lola gave me two stuffed diaper boxes filled with clothes, all of them in great condition and all of them styles/designs/colors that I love. There is a little sailor dress that makes me weep openly to look at. I am going out this weekend to get baby hangers and some sort of closet organization system to start putting stuff away. Man, I love to organize. And the idea of having some of Junior’s stuff already in Her Room is just SO COOL. My daughter’s future bedroom. Aaaaccckkkkk! I decided to go ahead and get a bookshelf and toy box for the room in addition to the standard crib/dresser/change table. Now I just need to find a rocker/glider on Craigslist since I refuse to pay the ridiculous amount that they charge new.

I need to start looking into some sort of childbirth class. And find out what exactly the deal is with getting assigned a Doula. And get some damn exercise. Otherwise, I think things are under control nicely. My mum and dad are giving me their budgeted Wedding Fund Contribution for the baby, which is awesome of them, so my worries about totally emptying my savings to pay the hospital bill are gone. And no, it doesn’t bug me that they’ve given up on a wedding, because I haven’t – and now I won’t have to worry about them having some sort of crazy strings-attached request if and when I do tie the knot. So, huzzah! I got the exact amount of well-wishing pressure to move back to Canada that I was expecting, and I explained over and over to people that unless they were going to buy my current house, the whole point was moot right now anyhow. And that's all I'll say about the house, because I just can't think about it anymore. I shall instead keep the focus on ensuring my job security, my latest painting project, and the melon/banana I am growing.