Check Up

Some additional interesting Second Trimester facts:

- Doing so much as changing the TV channel (with the remote) causes me to become out-of-breath, gasping and wheezing like I ran a marathon. I develop a deep compassion for asthmatics and smokers.
- My belly button looks funny and has become shallow (and probably insensitive as well). By ‘funny’ I mean scarily distorted and pinkish-blackish on the inside. I dread the outie. Belly buttons are disgusting in general, and this is heading nowhere good, fast.
- Constipation – not just a punch line anymore. I may have to break down and buy some delicious ‘dried plums’, recommended by my sister but not as a beach snack.
- Skin pigmentation and stretch marks. ACCCKKK!! I’ve been mauled by claws! The markings are decidedly unsexy. Thank god I’m single.
- No change in breasts – HALLELUJAH!!! I keep waiting for the girls to suddenly pop over night and smother me in my sleep, but so far there hasn’t been any major size change. I am hoping that I will be the one person whose breasts stay the exact same. Don’t tell any small-breasted women this, they tend to cry.
- Discharge. There’s plenty of it. ‘Nuff said.
- Typing this made me tired and light-headed, and I’m panting. I’m also hot, despite the fact there is a light snow falling in my room due to the lack of any heating device.

Junior had her follow-up ultrasound today, where the tech spent 4 ½ hours looking at her heart and making mine leap up into my throat with worry. Apparently all is well. I also participated in another study, this one for short cervix. Mine seems to be competent enough, which is nice of it to do its job well. I voiced my lack-of-weight-gain fear to the doctor and she said not to worry, that they were probably going to revise the numbers again anyhow (I guess too many women are porking out?) and that they could check Junior’s weight at another visit if I was really that concerned. I figure that even though I'm not eating much I'm eating well, so I'm ok with that. I got prodded and poked some, and had blood drawn for the alpha-fetoprotein test (for neural tube defects), and was totally freaked out when the tech said I was having some contractions. Uh, those are the things that push the baby out, I don’t want those yet! I guess it’s not uncommon for the body to do some practicing in the second trimester – basically it’s the equivalent of uterine push-ups to get in shape for the big event. All it did was serve as a reminder that some day, before my next birthday, I am going to have to push a baby out of me. Today’s irrational panic attack was how I’m going to get to the hospital, and how I’ll take a taxi before I let Loud drive me there.

Otherwise, Junior was fine, healthy 158 beats per minute and a nice spine and two cute little feet that were folded together modestly (good thing I found out she was a girl last visit, guess I’ll have to just go ahead with the pink and hope there isn’t something hiding there). I was all pissed off from waiting two hours for the doc so I was surly, pretty much guaranteeing that the polite little apologetic Asian woman will be the one to deliver me. Two more visits and I have the diabetes/glucose test, and then it’s every-other-week appointments for me. Unbelievable that I’m at that point already. I need to rent an apartment on the UNC campus, I can’t cope with that drive/parking experience that often.

p.s. The nursery furniture is on the way! I got the closet organizer set up, and the mattress arrived already. Painting tomorrow. Very excited. Nursery. For a baby.

p.p.s. My brain is officially mush. Have you read 'Flowers for Algernon'? At the end, when he's regressing back to being mentally challenged, but he has enough intelligence to realize the frustration and futility of it? Yeah, that's me. I left my COAT in a restaurant. In 20 degree weather. This is what I get for making fun of all those friends with 'pregnancy brain'. Man, Junior better be smart.