I'm an old pro at this by now. I get the delivery, make the deposit, point my toes at the ceiling, lickety-split. The third and final attempt for the month of January has been made, and now it's just the waiting game, also known as the Devil's Arithmetic; one day plus one day plus one day... you get the idea. Today is the 10th, which means I should know in lucky # 13 days whether or not this crazy thing worked. If not, I go on to February attempts. If February isn't Alistair's month, I try March. And if March doesn't work? Well, then I start to worry and consider fertility testing. I'm not going to go through drugs or any weird assisted insemination stuff though; I figure if I can't do it on my own, then there is a little Chinese girl out there who really needs a Mommy*. I'm not worried, not yet. The gals in my family are notoriously fertile, and several of my cousins came into this world just shy of nine months after a Catholic wedding ceremony. I'm banking on this, since my statistics aren't great; normal conception rates are estimated at 20%/month, and that's not factoring in my age or the fact I'm shooting it in myself. Plus I have no clue what my fertility or Quiet's is, whether the eggs or the swimmers are punctual or fighters.
*Did you know that I actually would NOT be allowed to adopt a baby from China? While I am within the age range and income level, because I am single most agencies will not let me adopt. If they can get past that, then the fact that I live with homosexuals makes me an unfit mother. And apparently, according to the CCAA (China's Center of Adoption Affairs) as of December 2006, you can't be too fat, either. Seriously. There is a BMI maximum. I actually would not be allowed to adopt from Korea. So despite my income, family support, and Teaching degree, I could not give one of these orphans a home. And judging by some of the other blogs I've read, a lot of people seem to think that's ok. *sigh* This world still has such a long way to go.
1 comment:
Regarding Adoption. Every State in the USA, as well as every sovereign country with which the USA has signed an international adoption agreement, has its own rules/regulations/laws regarding who can adopt. The Hague Convention further complicates the process of international adoption.
China currently has a backlog of over 25,000 dossiers from 16 different countries submitted by would-be parents wanting to adopt. As of 1 May 2007, Singles will not be considered until all couples' dossiers have been matched with children. Am I, the single Mom of two daughters from China, happy about this? No. Does China have the right, as a sovereign country, to tighten their restrictions on adoptive parents to enable them to work through the backlog? Certainly! These are China's children. I'm just happy China is still allowing its children to be adopted internationally - many countries have recently closed to foreign adoptions (Romania, for example). In point of fact, MOST countries do not allow foreign adoptions at all (Iraq, Afghanistan, and innumerable others). And, many countries do not permit Singles to adopt - South Korea is only one of them, as you noted. China is not the most restrictive, by any means. Regardless of how we feel personally, it is frankly inappropriate for Americans to judge the standards set by other countries - especially with our own sorry record.
Parents adopting internationally have three major "approval wickets" to go through: State approval; Federal approval - the USCIS (formerly the INS) looks for prospective parents who are financially capable of raising an internationally adopted child; they don't want the child to become a burden to the USA should the parent subsequently prove unfit or change their minds; and the approval of the country from which you wish to adopt.
With your current housing arrangement, you would very likely find it a challenge to pass the first "approval wicket" to adopt, unless you are able to arrange for a private adoption domestically in the USA. Adoption professionals look for prospective parents who meet certain parameters which have, over time, been shown to result in a minimum of disrupted adoptions and child abuse cases.
There are many hurdles to becoming a parent by adoption - but it can be done, if building your family in this manner is important to you.
Bottom line: Adoption is a PRIVILEGE, not a right.
Good luck with your DIY. I'm quite familiar with being TTC/TWW (trying to conceive/two week wait) - and don't miss those roller coaster days at all!
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