Trying to Think Positive Thoughts

I got the call last night that the sellers of my potential new pretty house accepted the other offer, one that wasn’t contingent on the sale of a burden of a house. I can understand that. I don’t have to be happy about it, but such is life in the real estate fast lane. F***ers.

So with one month til closing I am back to square one. I spent a few hours last night perusing listings for something new and wonderful and perfect until my head split open and I crawled into bed to hide at 10 pm. I found a lot of ‘maybes’. I know that everything happens for a reason, what was meant to be, blah blah blah. But I really, really liked that house and I’m too disappointed to even really fully cope with it. I’ll just push on. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I don’t know if it was because of that or the migraine I ended up with, but I had all kinds of horrible nightmares last night. The first few were all about looking for houses, but it was like taking an exam or something in the dream. After those, I had monster dreams. You know the kind – something unseen and horrible is chasing you. It was really graphic though. It started out I was swimming in a lake, and there were little nasty bite-y things in the murky weedy water. Then I was in a pool in a hotel, and there was some huge creature plucking people out and eating them – I kept trying to stay submerged so it wouldn’t see me, and at one point I had to shake someone off me to save myself and he got taken. It was awful. Then the dream shifted and I climbed out of the pool and ran down a hallway, and when I turned around I could see through the huge window at the end of the hall an enormous reptilian eye watching me, and then a massive arm crashed through the side windows and started sweeping around grabbing people, Godzilla-style. It was terrifying. The dream shifted again, and the arm turned into a dozen or so barely smaller reptiles, a cross between huge crocodiles and velociraptors, which were unbelievably fast and started snapping up everyone. I ran for a bank of elevators and pushed all the buttons, but I could hear the creatures coming and knew I couldn’t wait. I started running again, and was desperately looking for somewhere I could hide that they couldn’t get at me, but I was hugely pregnant and was slowed down, and didn’t stand a chance. I got so scared I woke myself up in a cold sweat. So, uh, that sucked.

Today I’m doing my best to crawl back from the edge, despite the gloom and the headaches and the rain and the bad things pressing around me in my head. All the repair estimates are in, and are reasonable, so we’re moving forward with getting everything fixed and everything should still be good with the sale. Junior was CRAZY last night – here I’d been a little worried because I hadn’t felt much movement lately. Apparently it’s all been happening while I’ve been asleep. Last night she took my keys, went and picked up some friends, and they all came back and made popcorn and had some sort of rave in my uterus. I couldn’t believe the hijinks. But believe me, I was reassured. The guys finally got their loan. I haven't been fired yet for my lack of work focus.

Hopefully things will go well with the potential Nanny tomorrow, which would be one more thing I could check off my list. And maybe I’ll end up finding the next perfect house. And hey, it’s the weekend, right? The nice cleaning people are here mucking out my tub, which I’ve been pretty much living in, and the window repair guy said he’d be by shortly, so there’s a hubbub of activity that is pleasantly distracting. I’m going to shotgun a Pepsi and some Tylenol and see if I can’t get a little burst of energy and go to the grocery store, my favorite Friday afternoon activity. I hear there are Cadbury’s Easter Crème Eggs there. I have no problem being the kind of person who solves the issues of the world with a little chocolate right now.