House Inspection #1

You know what I hate? House inspections. You know what I love? I love when something is really, really super important, and Loud can’t stop being a jackass for five seconds.

Yes, today was the ever-important home inspection. I had a critical conference call at the precise moment the team was scheduled to arrive (inspector, buyer, buyer’s agent), so had asked that Loud listen for them and let them into the house. Let’s all take a guess at how it went down. The doorbell rang. The doorbell rang again. From way up on the second floor with my doors closed I asked everyone on my call to reschedule, and went downstairs to let them all into the house. Loud then burst out of the open door to his room, 3 feet from the front door, in sunglasses, and started waving his arms around and loudly apologizing. This show was only his opening act. It was followed by his ‘Look at How Helpful I Can Be!’ routine, where, AGAINST MY SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS which were delivered as nicely as I could last night, he followed them around and gave out bits of useless advice and information. Did I mention he was carrying around a bottle of wine as he did this, still in his sunglasses, at 10:30 am? Act III, a familiar one, ‘Listen to How Smart I Am!’, featured Loud’s booming projection of his 11:00 conference call and constant forced laughter. I’m sure the visitors were impressed, but probably not as much as when he started to talk to them about his band and incredible musical talents. I just keep telling myself, he can’t screw this up too badly, and in another month or so it won’t be my problem any more. And at least he didn’t play them anything. Although he did say, 'So, find anything that's going to burn me alive in my sleep?' to the inspector, which was awesome.

Of course they tested every single appliance, so we’ll fail on the ice maker, but I had said my two cents on that and was shot down, so we’ll take care of it later and no big deal. They also weren’t happy with the ½ bath toilet downstairs, which was no surprise. And I was irritated that for once it had actually rained, so the backyard was our usual moat (please don’t make us re-grade the yard!). But otherwise, I think everything went well. Since Loud wouldn’t shut up the entire time I couldn’t hear the side conversations. The buyer, Doug, seemed REALLY nice – apparently they have a living room set AND a master bedroom suite that is in the same design as my dining room set, hence the immediate love and instantaneous bond.

So now I’ve been desperately ill since Friday night and am tired and grumpy about it. I used a precious sick day yesterday to get a bit caught up on my sleep, which I think helped, plus I ate some real food last night so probably got a bit of energy back. Doesn’t my body know I NEED TO PACK??!!! I’m sure the stress about that isn’t helping. I’ve stopped using the inhaler because I’m worried about the effects on Junior. And I didn’t feel like the Robitussin was doing much so I dropped that. So basically I’m relying on orange juice and my good looks to cure myself, which means I’m screwed. My boss is being awesome about it though, which is nice, and Junior still doesn’t seem too affected, which is all I care about, so I’ll just try to be patient and wait it out. Just like everything else.