Fridays are for breathing a sigh of relief

I bought a house. I hired a nanny. It was terrifying.
Not buying the house, that’s old hat, it was the nanny hiring that did me in (although, let me tell you, the douchebag sellers have left a trail of debt that is affecting me in all kinds of painful and irritating ways. Time Warner, I loathe you).

So yes, my sister was right, it’s a terrible experience to go through until you talk to the person who you know you feel good about. Nanny B. is awesome. Ask me what she did on Spring Break when she was in school. Yes, she would go to Honduras and volunteer with orphans. That’s so crazy! I am making the tragic mistake of hiring a very young and cute nanny, so I will have to make sure that no future boyfriends ever meet her. Interestingly, she reminds me of my sister’s nanny – maybe there’s a type? She’s little and athletic and has cropped dark hair, very stylish. She was very comfortable and at-ease during the interview (as well as on-time, and sporting a resume). And she’s fine with driving out to my house in the middle of nowhere if, and get this, she has permission to take Junior on outings – apparently, other people she has nannied for wouldn’t let her leave the house! So crazy. I was like, ‘Heck yeah, I expect that! You’ll have a museum allowance and I’ve already found the two closest swimming pools, and you’ll have to take her to all those baby beauty pageants…’

Nanny B. is expecting her first, a boy, two weeks before Junior is due, so the timing is great. Junior will have a little playmate, and Nanny B. will be able to tote her kid along to work, so it works for both of us single gals. I am a little stressed about the taxes and such, but I’ve been doing some studying and I’ll do some more, and I think I’ve got a handle on what I’ll need to do. At least I don’t have to pay Canadian taxes! The initial reaction I keep getting from people is funny. They ask how she’s going to take care of two kids. Uh, people have twins all the time. And if she was in a home daycare, the alternative, there’d be at least 2 or 3 other children there – more in a regular daycare. So I’m not worried about that at all. She seems very eager and flexible and easy-going, and can do nights when I have to go to Boston, or pickup other babysitting hours outside of the regular schedule if I ever get my groove back, so that’s cool. Despite the fact that she is a TOTAL stranger, I have absolute confidence in her, which is weird. I’m still going to check her references and do the background check and all that stuff like a good little employer, but I’m really hopeful that I’ve got my gal.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted because of all the house craziness. There is a trench in the yard that fills daily with the rain we’ve been getting, and the estimates are around $400. Blech. The guys move this weekend, so that should be hilarious. I’m going to a Lemony Snicket book signing tonight, which would be more exciting if not for the pouring rain and the potential outside line up. I get to have my haircut tomorrow! (I love my hair stylist, I’ve been with her for I believe 7 years now). It’s Friday! I’m irritated because the dillhole that is Loud, who was going to sell me the washer and dryer, now seems to be stomping around preparing to move them. Le sigh. And as for Junior…

30 WEEKS. Crazy. Something has triggered in my body that has cued all the abdomen/stomach pain receptors to constantly be set for ‘Ouchy and Tight’ or ‘Sore and Crampy’. I am really, really feeling pregnant now. It’s like I’ve always just bumped into something hard, is the nearest I can describe it. Of course, all the weird bending and stretching and lifting I’m doing trying frantically to get ready to move in a few weeks isn’t helping. I tried a 2-pillow comedy routine in bed last night, which seemed to help a bit and I made it almost to 4:30 am. This is the real reason pregnant women are always rubbing their bellies – to try and get some relief. It just hurts. And so much further to go, and she ain't getting any smaller! (uh, knock on wood). Junior is banging around the pots and pans and I’m just trying to find something appetizing to eat that isn’t a Banquet frozen Mexican dinner.

Omg, speaking of my white trash eating habits, I bought an Orange Crush cake. At the Wal-Mart. Isn’t that AWESOME?! I had two pieces and I’m trying to force myself to throw it out, because despite its deliciousness and the little hummingbird’s enjoyment of it, even I am put off by the blinding chemical aftertaste. But don’t worry – I learned that Sara Lee makes mini pies. Perfect for two servings. In cherry.