It's Week 39 - Do You Know When Your Baby Will Arrive?

After being up last night for two hours with Braxton Hicks in my lower back, I told my boss today that if I went past my due date I was going to take off work early. My exact words to her were, “I’m climbing the walls and just getting worse, and I’m worried that I’ll be asked a question on a conference call and I’ll say ‘I like apples’”. She was a little confused by my example because, well, she’s a grown-up, but the good news is, she was very cool about it. The bad news is, well, tighter budgeting for me, but at this point I would take that last week off without pay. 66% isn’t that bad. So seven more days of work at the most, I can cope with that. It gives me a date to hold onto. Again, not complaining here, things could be way worse and I could be on bed rest or trapped without a car or trapped under a car or whatever. So don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful I’m as mobile as I am and not in excruciating pain every second of the day. I’m just, well, ready. And people need to stop telling me to walk. I’ve never felt less like walking in my entire life. I’m counting on the newly ordered pump to get things going a la the very unsexy electric nipple stimulation. And I thought my Friday nights couldn't get any more pitiful.

I had a dental appointment yesterday and stocked up on the next few weeks’ worth of Invisalign trays. I love my dentist – she told a great story about how when she was in labor she wanted every drug they had available, which opened the way for me to make a chloroform joke, which I always appreciate . Plus she kept saying, ‘You just look so darn CUTE!’ and told me my highlights were fantastic. And then she offered to do some plaster casts of Junior’s hands and feet with their dental molding, which is freaking awesome. They wouldn’t let me leave the office until I had promised at least 4 separate people I would bring the baby in like as soon as she had been weighed and suctioned. Such a popular child already.

The weather is heating up and all I want is for the local swimming pools to be open. I don’t care that small children and the elderly would run in fear if I was to be seen in a bathing suit. I just want some sun and some weightlessness. Coach is going to bring the Wii and the Mario Kart over this weekend for some distraction, which will be fun. Even better, she’ll bring her brother, who will cut my weeds. I mean grass. I have given up on the gardening, I just really don't care any more. I half-heartedly spread some grass seed but it can tell I don't have high expectations so it's striving to disappoint.

Tonight there is some sort of event at my local spa where they have hors d'oeuvres and show off new products and give mini-massages and facials. I think I'm going to go so that I can get out of the house and do some of that new-fangled walkin' everyone is speaking so highly of. At the very least I'll be able to do some old-fashioned spendin', which should make me happy.