The Axe and the Grindstone

Nothing changes one’s perspective quite like a layoff.

I had this whole depressing diatribe written, ready to post, about how frustrated and unsupported and overburdened I was. And then, at 8:00 am this morning, ¼ of my team received phone calls that they no longer had a job. As of that moment.

So I have a decidedly more cheerful attitude now, once I got over the heartsickness of losing my favorite PM co-worker, and just a few seconds after the email from corporate that everyone who would be leaving had been informed and the rest of us could breathe a sigh of relief. I have a little survivor’s guilt, since Jerry had more seniority and more skills than I, but since I’ve been worried off and on for the past two months (especially with all the latest client issues) about my own position being in jeopardy, I’m mostly just grateful right now.

So yes, the February attempt was a failure and I’m never going to get my Baby Diploma if I keep flunking these tests. Yes, I’m tired, stressed, grumpy, bleeding buckets and filled with despair and general loathing. It’s true that poor Quiet and I will have to grit our teeth and put our noses to the grindstone for another attempt (hey! that’s neither a grindstone NOR a nose!). But I don’t have to worry about losing my house or working two jobs or giving hand jobs on the street corner or swallowing my pride and calling old companies. Not today, anyway.