Studying for the Test

Tomorrow, finally is The Big Day. Not as momentous as some future milestones, but still a biggie to me. Tomorrow is the day I get the First Trimester Test, where they’ll poke around my insides with that violating internal ultrasound device again, but this time hopefully find a healthy happy baby.

Going to the Halloween party last weekend was rough (the long drive, the insane cat allergies, the exhaustion and nausea, the lack of drinking), but it was kind of cool because I told that small group of people about the Potential Person, and I started getting all kinds of crazy advice. I would probably only follow about 2% of what I heard, since a lot of it was total crap or crazy hippie nonsense or just didn’t apply to my situation whatsoever, but I still enjoyed getting to ‘talk parent’ with other parents. Yet another occasion where it made everything that much more real to me, and allowed me to think yet again, ‘Yes, hmm, maybe I may actually have a small person sometime early summer next year’.

I think of all the horror stories I’ve heard about people who go for the ultrasound and find an empty sac, or dead baby, or a huge cancerous tumor (well, not really the last thing, but I couldn’t think of anything else that would be worse than going through three months of this to find out the baby had died). Really, I know now why people don’t jump back on that horse faster after a post-12 week loss; they need that time to forget how horrible the first trimester is. I know I sure as hell couldn’t turn around and knock myself up again as fast as I did last time.

I was hoping that since I was about to hit 12 weeks tomorrow the craptastic effects would begin to subside, but I’ve actually tossed my cookies more in the last week than in the whole previous month. I had a cup of weak tea and some sliced melon for breakfast this morning, and promptly hurled – I can’t get much more bland than that! I ordered a salad last night for dinner and uttered the most horrifying sentence ever – “Hold the bacon”. Chicken is now off the list as well, so I’m eating a lot of veggies. The last few days for lunch I’ve lived on my mother’s recipe for 4-bean salad, but without the onion or green peppers or anything else that might offend. So basically I’m eating some beans in a sugar/vinegar marinade. Oddly, I lately adore chick peas, but since they are so darn good for me I’m not too worried. I’m drinking a yogurt and fruit smoothie to get my dairy on, so other than the lack of brain-growing fish oil I figure I'm doing ok.